but i will wear my heart upon my sleeve, for daws to peck at.
i was in improv in high school. one time, i kind of freaked out. i was SO nervous to go on stage because everyone around me was so talented and i wasn’t sure of myself... so i went to a guy on my team and i asked for help. he told me, ‘nervousness is so similar to excitement. it’s a good thing, because it shows that you care. just give it your all. channel all of your fear into excitement and energy. it’s okay to be afraid, and you’ll be okay.’ i guess life is like improv too. i’m so afraid of things recently. afraid that people won’t like me, afraid to say how i feel, or say anything at all. i’m scared of being vulnerable and being hurt, because i KNOW i care soo much. yet somehow... i can’t hate this fear, and i can’t let it stop me from doing what i want and being who i am. i have a beautiful heart, and i’ve learned how beautiful it is to share yourself with other people. yes, i’m scared to death. but you can’t be brave if you were never scared in the first place. also, life is too precious to spend it on being anything other than genuine. it’s okay to be afraid, and i’ll be okay.
when we were in ha noi, we visited another temple and kal said to me, ‘you know that feeling you get around trees and life, that i never understood? i understand now.’ then today, i saw the way kal looked at the world around us. maybe it’s the power of worship, ancestry and life together... but something here gave them that gift. it just fills me with joy to know that the people i love get to experience this magic with me.
today i saw the most beautiful place i’ve ever seen. .
see those unripe rambutans in the top right corner? so cute. we were shown this man’s farm and we biked around the village, through the trees. i don’t have words to explain it... but i think my heart melted. back home, there are pieces of life and beauty in everything. but how this place glowed and flourished everywhere... i’m just blown away.
i haven’t sang much in the last couple months. sometimes passions are pushed to the side in lieu of other things. but here we are, back to sharing pieces of my heart on ig. 😁
this would be starting at the second verse of this song. see if u can find the first verse on my ig ;)
young thug written on the wall
my voice feels stuck in my throat
i can’t express why this seems wrong
my eyes couldn’t leave you
i liked it when you said,
‘stay just like that’
i wonder if i’m imagining the look you gave me when you said it
i remember when we met,
no words unsaid or time wasted.
wish i could go back to that night
lets go away from here
i can’t fall asleep in your bed
lets sleep on stars instead
look away from me
keep your love to yourself, please
i’m not falling in love with anything.
i wanted to fall in love, so bad
but i knew these feelings wouldn’t last
i tried so hard
to not start to hate you
but you made it so hard
why couldn’t you let me