I found the show tonight. It took 5 gos and a whole lot of honesty but I found it again. Not where I'd left it at the end of Adelaide Fringe, but a new place. I don't know how I found it, except to say... This afternoon I saw a photo of the rubble that once was Stella's Gunnery, the first place I performed Love Onion (aka More or Less Better). A house built by a man who lived most of his life there and died unhappily inside it was knocked down in an afternoon. The rooftop that was an open vault containing a universe of dancing stars brought to the ground. Impermanence and change. As I was riding to the theatre I thought about what John Bolton had told me: the clown is closer to you than you think.
And thought for a show that was about love it was strange I didn't share how in love I was. How I didn't want to be performing the show tonight because I wanted to be at home taking care of My Love. I realised I'd been performing the shell of a show. But last night I was inside the shell and cracked. I felt it, the audience felt it, and the fireworks of my soul went off. Which is not to say I'll do a good show tomorrow night. Good people make bad shows and good shows have bad nights. This'll be the last two shows of Love Onion (probably forever). It's time to build another house... with moveable walls and hidden nooks, noisy floorboards and complaining neighbours, but always of rooms with no ceilings that open out and invite the universe and rubble and love in.
Photo by @davidchildface
Rearranged the order and layers of Love Onion last night and now the show is in better shape (and has a beautiful love poem recited in it) A couple of years ago I would have been afraid of changing up the show. But theatre and comedy are a living breathing thing and change when you change