What if? To me, those two words next to each other are just asking for trouble. I have such an issue with this question for many reasons. It leaves so many woulda, coulda and shoulda’s unanswered. It’s like the words other craptastic words: assumed, thought and figured. I hate those words too.
I read a book the other day that put those two words, “What if” into a whole different perspective for me, simply because it’s not looking into the past. Please don’t get me wrong I love looking at the past for lessons learned and memories made, but I sure try my best not to use it as a place to get stuck. And asking "What if..." usually does that for me. That’s a whole other topic we can get into on another day because there are things in my past that when they’re dug up instantly send me into tears.
So let me get to it. I read this question in the book, "Girl, Wash Your" Face by Rachel Hollis, and it has stuck with me like one of my favorite songs on repeat: What if I kept my promise I made to myself?
That one question made me stop reading my book. It gave those two words a whole new meaning. It made me ask that question to myself. It made me get honest with myself. Most times, I keep promises I make to others. But to myself, that’s definitely not the case. It made me think of all the times I’ve made a promise to myself to get up in the morning, to go for a run or go workout and haven’t kept it. And let’s just keep being honest, there are bigger goals of mine that I’ve promised myself to go after but set them aside because, well if we are being honest I have no good excuse.
The author, Rachel Hollis, asked herself but what would happen if this time I kept my promise even if it were for just a month? And I thought about it. The month is going to pass no matter what, so what if?
And I tell you what, this question is challenging me. It’s making me get real honest with myself, even with the most simple tasks like doing laundry. If there’s one chore I hate doing, it’s laundry. I could keep putting that chore off until tomorrow and the tomorrow after that. But because I told myself (made the promise to myself) that’s something I am doing today, I am doing it.
I have an absolute love for Tuesday’s!
Why, you ask?
Because a group of people with different ages, cultures, backgrounds and perspectives get together to talk about God & study the Bible. When we get together I always walk away feeling like my heart is overflowing with love, a deeper understanding of God and a closer connection to who He is.
We talk about tough subjects too. Not just the good & fun topics. Nope, we dig deep.
Getting to know Him and His heart is challenging (in a good way)because my human ways have their habits and some of them aren’t good and some of my thoughts aren’t good.
For example, there are plenty of times I’ve questioned the unknown and doubted what seemed impossible. I want life to make sense. 1+1=2. It always equals does.
But for Him, in the middle of Nowheresville He can take a few loaves of bread and a few fillets of fish and feed thousands (Matthew 15:32-39). He proves over and over again that what we humans see as impossible, is possible.
He is so good at being God.
“...when my identity is tied to circumstances I become extremely insecure because circumstances are unpredictable and ever changing. I rise and fall with successes and failures. I feel treasured when complimented and tormented when criticized.” This quote hit me like a WHACK. The truth is the beliefs we hold should keep us standing even when it feels like our world’s shattering.
I had this strange pull to find a book to read. I ignored it for a few days because I had no idea wha kind of book, but then tonight it was like I the book feel into my lap.
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. This book is SOOO good! I’m highlighting and taking notes and having “ah ha” moments like no ones business! Anyone else do this when they found a book they love?
Just a small note I made following one like hers, but in my own words: I am not my weaknesses. I am not my failures. I am not my mistakes. I am not who someone says I am. I am not the balance in my bank account. I am not broken. But I am fearfully & wonderfully made. I am, a child of God.
Do you ever realize how badly you’re going to miss a moment while you’re living it? Like, “WOW! These are the good days.” I wrote that quote in my present (my 1st smashbook) to Parker for our Anniversary. It is so fitting for this NZ adventure. •
I’ve been trying my best to live in the moment & soak it all in. It’s hard to believe in a short while we will be headed back home. Like how did these past seven months travel by so fast? But then I look through all of the incredibly gorgeous pictures since we’ve been over here and I remember... these are some of the best days.
Give yourself permission to just enjoy life to the fullest & to be fully present where you’re at. NZ has taught me to put my to do lists and calendar and phone down and to just be right here, right now. Honestly it was foreign to me at first, but then it became so natural and normal to me that during tax season I craved it.
Have you ever taken inventory of your time?
Even if it was just for one week?
I really do wonder where my days go. So for a week, at least, I’m going to be a little more aware of how I spend my time. And to be honest, trying to be more cautious to not waste it.
I didn’t even realize it until my boyfriend kindly pointed out I haven’t been very active this week. He knows that if I don’t get out of the four surrounding walls, I go a bit crazy. Do you ever feel that way? Like you’re chained to your “to do” lists that you get so wrapped up and forget to take care of the other areas in your life? Us women, we try to do it all & be it all as perfectly as possible!
Your health by eating good meals and exercising. Your well being by doing something good for your soul. For me, that’s spending time outdoors and going to yoga. Your faith. For me that’s listening to Christian music and diving into Gods word, going to Bible Study, or just listening to John Gray. Believe me, I get it, there’s only so much time in the day, but I believe if we at least try our best to take care of ourselves in each of these areas of our life, in the long run, we will be better off!
One day she woke up sick and tired of being sick and tired. She got honest with herself. She was tired of being broke. She was sick of letting herself down one too many times. She would pick something up, only to set it down seconds later because life got in the way. She was finished making excuses for why she was not doing the things she wanted to do. She was done living life on auto pilot.
Have you met her before?
Tomorrow - I am so excited to introduce to you a whole new addition to Little Bit More!
I often write simple reminders to myself in times of doubt, fear, frustration, uncertainty, or anxiousness. I say a prayer to God to give me strength and patience. I take a deep breathe, let it out and let that feeling go because it's no longer mine to hold on to.
You're thinking, that is so much easier said than done. I hear your thoughts. I know exactly how you feel. But try it. Not just once. Try it a few times. It truly does get easier. The hardest part for me has always been when I have to give up the control to someone or something other than myself (I am a control freak). It's the moment when I have to release that feeling and take the scariest step forward into the unknown. I have plenty of notes to myself from when Parker and I started planning our trip to New Zealand.
I had an internal panic attack when Parker and I talked about moving in 2017 instead of 2018. I thought to myself, you better get saving little girl. Before I started dating Parker I was a phenomenal spender and a terrible saver. I didn't have a dime to my name in a savings account. I thought I had a little under two years to not only learn how to save money, but to save enough money to move to New Zealand. And then comes another bend in the road. I hadn't done much research into the cost of living in New Zealand so I had no clue what to expect. I read blog after blog, and little by little my heart sank and I cried. Not only is New Zealand is one of the most expensive country's in the world, but for every New Zealand dollar I made it was 70 cents to the United States dollar. I wrote in my journal, "Beautiful girl, you were made to do hard things. Have faith and believe in yourself." I fell asleep that night praying to God to help me find a way.
Fast forward to today. We are living in New Zealand! Next time, you're telling yourself how it's impossible, write a note to yourself. Take a deep breath, let it out and let those craptastic feelings go. I know it's not the solution to your problems, but it's giving yourself hope. Sometimes, that's all we need.
Who is already setting their goals for the next year?
This girl is!!! &&& I am setting palm sweaty, heart racing out of my chest kind of goals! I can’t wait to share them with you... but I’m not finished writing them, yet!
What are some of your goals?
Share them with me in the comments below!