Find yourself saying “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!” or all the way at the other end of the spectrum, you ask, “What will people think of me?” .
Did you know that BOTH are an indication of a lack of connection? Connection—you know, the universal goal every human heart is striving for? The difference is that when you are an IDGAF person, you are lacking true connection with others, and using your blustery boundary to protect yourself from getting hurt.
When you care what EVERYONE thinks of you, you are lacking connection with yourself, and trying to keep up a veneer that is “pleasing to others”. This is also a self-protective move, but it is a dangerous one that keeps you out of connection with your beautiful, authentic self.
So, it’s important to do the hard work (Doesn’t it always require hard work? 🙄) of discerning whose opinions are constructive, healthy and useful, and whose are destructive, useless or unhealthy at best—toxic at worst.
What is a good litmus test to know the difference? Check to see if the people whose opinions you value are the kind of people who are consistently in the arena; getting their faces marred by sweat, blood and tears from doing the hard work or if they are people who always sit in the cheap seats. You know the type: they complain and gossip and judge and bitch about the things others are doing or aren’t doing, never bothering to get out of the audience to actually get in the arena. The peanut 🥜 gallery. .
The point here: don’t lose connection with yourself or with others by trying to protect yourself from shame, blame or judgement using unhealthy tactics. Not caring at all is toxic and leaves you isolated, and caring too much leaves you disconnected to yourself and unable to live wholeheartedly and authentically.
Do the hard work of discerning, and as always, Do It Afraid.
It's later than usual for me to be outside reading, but it is a beautiful night in New Hampshire and I can't sleep. Have you ever had that experience? Perhaps the day took its toll and a nap set you up to stay awake. Or the thoughts of the day are keeping you awake. Or you just plain aren't tired.
Regardless of why I am awake, I know that binge-watching Netflix is not going to make sleep come more easily. Just as I know staring at the ceiling for hours won't help. So, I grabbed a book I have loved before and started reading it again.
Here's what I realized:
This book needed to be in my hands today. These words needed to enter my head, heart, and soul.
The ideas and concepts needed to become a part of me again.
No matter what you are feeling, you have the chance to change it, sometimes it's closer than you might think😉
103: I feel like I'll never be able to adequately explain how grateful I am for being introduced to the work of Dr. Brené Brown.
I'm also thankful for being able to move past the misguided negative stigma surrounding learning about ourselves and personal development.
The last 3 years of my life, since I began learning about and understanding myself, have without a doubt been the happiest years of my life. For that I will forever changed and forever grateful #myyearofgratitude#brenébrown#thegiftsofimperfection
For day 4 of the #dare2barechallenge @butiyoga I’m sharing a media influencer who is truly worthy of their media status and that is @brenebrown who has pioneered authenticity and vulnerability in the face of criticism and attempts to silence the conversation around shame, resilience and the human condition. I first discovered Brene about 6 years ago when my counselor lent me #thegiftsofimperfection audio to listen to. It was groundbreaking for me and empowering. We need more sheros like #brenebrown#proveyoursweat
I never thought I would need to see a counselor.
I never thought my problems were worthy of such an extreme measure.
I never felt like I was broken enough to need help putting the pieces back together again. ~~~
But I was wrong. ~~~
Strong people still feel weak.
Happy people still cry.
Sensible people still snap.
I’m a big believer of perseverance. But not always. Recently I have been working on some business plans. And the more I got into my research, the more I started to walk against closed doors.
I’m not saying these doors couldn’t be opened. But I did feel these tiny little contractions in my body. I recognised them. I’ve had them before. They were signs I have ignored in the past, intuitive signs.
Then I read something Brene Brown has written in her 📖 The gift of imperfection: ‘If we learn to trust our intuition, it can even tell us we don’t have a good instinct on something and that we need more data. Our need for certainty sabotages our intuition and we ignore our gut’s warnings to gather more information’. In the past I did exactly what Brene predicted: ‘oh what the hell, I just go for it’. So even though that reaction looks really gutsy, it’s the opposite, it’s entirely based on fear and the longing for safety. It’s based on being fed up with uncertainty. Fed up with not having any answers.
So sometimes our inner wisdom tells us to gather more outer information before we make big decisions.
I find this often quite challenging. One of the mantras is these situations that become quite useful to me are: May I trust the universe, It’s ok, May I feel safe. And then my body, my heart and mind start to relax again. Allowing me to see the bigger picture.
Often new inspiration is right around the corner when we learn to release the controls.
So please tell me.
How do you respond to uncertainties? And what’s comforting to you in these situations? I sincerely don’t ask these questions for more likes or popular posts rates (I rather have one serous reply than a thousands likes). Having real conversations on social about these topics matter I believe. We can learn so much from other people’s stories. Thank you @brenebrown
I just finished @brenebrown ‘s #thegiftsofimperfection and I am just blown away. Through all these years on my life, I was called names and bullied for just being myself. Then I muted who I was: became quiet, more reserved,got into reading rather than talking...and lo! Here I am, relearning who I truly was from the start because society was uncomfortable with a girl living a wholehearted life! I’m never going back. I’m going to be my loving, caring, silly, fun, quirky self even if it kills me. Never EVER let others dull your shine. Be imperfectly perfect. Do what makes your life worth living. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
PERMISSION SLIP // This is mine for today
I've just finished my first pass of "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Researcher-Storyteller, Brene Brown , the 3rd of her books that feature in my Audible library. Before I begin my second listen, I felt it was time I started to incorporate some of my learnings in to my daily practice of working towards #wholehearted living
I just love the simple, yet #powerful idea of writing permission slips to myself to remind me to practice self love throughout the day
What do you give yourself #permission for today?
#Repost from @thecheekyprojectperth
What are you scared of? Scared of failing or maybe you’re actually scared of succeeding? I’ve been asked several times lately, how I’ve stayed motivated and what keeps me going. I’ll let you in on a little secret...it’s these guys 💞 And letting go of this idea of perfection ✌️ For 37, probably even 38 years, I hid. Hid because I was scared of failing, scared of not being “perfect,” and scared everyone would see right through me. I wanted to do everything on my own. I didn’t need help and I was always right 🙄 I was super focused on perfection. I focused more on what others thought of me, and kept myself in a box of what I thought I was supposed to be. I hid because I didn’t want anyone to know my struggles, my failures, my self doubt, my insecurities and my lack of love for myself. I had so much love for others, but had nothing for myself.
This past year has been a turning point, because what I’ve realized is that I’ve actually been scared of succeeding. Succeeding at something that no one expected me to succeed at. Succeeding at something I’ve never seen myself as good at. Succeeding at staring to love myself. What do you do when you break the mold of what everyone thinks you should be, including yourself? You fly 💞
If you’re still struggling with self love, letting your fears hold you back and looking for a way to help build your confidence so you can stay motivated and be the best version of you, then we should chat. Comment below or message me if you’d like more info on how coaching can change your outlook in life. #mnmom#momof3kids#selfloveisthebestlove#selflovewarrior#selfloverevolution#thisis39#thegiftsofimperfection .