Hoseok I really hope your always healthy. I hope you drink plenty and plenty of water and staying hydrated and eating lots and lots of yummy food. I hope your always taking very very good care of yourself cause that’s what makes me the happiest girl.
little goof ball I love you so much it’s crazy you make my heart beat the fastest I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you
《 11:08 pm 》
do NOT read this caption if you’re sensitive to the following things; selfharm, rape, suicidal thoughts, depression & anxiety. please, I do not wanna trigger any of you beauties.
today has been awful. my day started out really bad because the minute so woke up, darkness and bad thoughts surrounded me and I felt like I was being suffocated. my anxiety attack lasted for fifthteen minutes or so, simply because I do not know how to calm myself. I was shaking so much and I weren’t able to get my phone and listen to stigma or house of cards like I usually do. I tried to stand up, but my legs were shaking and I was so dizzy, so I ended up having to lay down incase that I would pass out - I usually do that if the attack is longer than 10 minuts.
at that moment, I felt more alone than ever before.
I felt so ashamed of myself because I couldn’t even control my own breathing, I couldn’t even push the thoughts away and all I wanted in that moment was so hear your voice - cause it always sends me such a calming vibe.
people say ‘just push the thoughts away’ well breaking new guys!! it’s not just that simple honey, when you’re living with a depression, bad thoughts is basically the main problem. please stop saying that I just need to push them away, cause that just makes me feel even more powerless - because i’m not able to do that on my own. okay? I don’t think the world understands how much a depression can f*ck you up. it’s not just being sad, it’s being DEPRESSED. no energy, can’t see a future for yourself, moodswings, suicidal thoughts and so on.
I have a voice inside my head, that’s always telling me ‘no one likes you’ ‘the world is a better place without you’ ‘you’re useless’ and so on, that’s not easy to just push away.
but you tae, you’ve helped me more than anything and anyone else before and gosh, you deserve the world my love. I wish I could give it to you, but I can’t. so instead i’m gonna give you all my love and support till the very end, I love you.
i'd really appreciate it if my friends/family would stop hating on bangtan my friends call them "faggots" for looking "feminine" and wearing makeup "anime" is another one and last night when i told my mom about the tour she said if i get tickets ill have to find someone to go with because she doesnt want to see "those chinese" then when i corrected her my grandpa came into the conversation and said "they're all asian so it doesnt matter" he even started making up words claiming he was "speaking korean" the list goes on and on my point is calling them ugly names, mocking their culture, etc is disgusting im sick of it they dont need to like them but at least respect them they're humans too :(