DEEP IN THE TANTRIC MUD
We have been sent gurus, guides, angels, healers, provocateurs, allies and antagonists in all shapes and sizes. Our partners, our kids, friends and family members, lovers. Our therapists, our work colleagues, strangers on the subway.
Our true teachers are all around us. Because the true teachings of life are ancient and lie deep within us.
All the people in our lives right now have gifts to offer. Some gifts are obvious. Some gifts are only realised in hindsight.
Through some relationships we are taught how to listen. To receive someone else’s truth without rushing in to fix them, advise them or stop them feeling what they’re feeling. To take their world seriously. To get out of our own heads. To lose our self-absorption and narcissism and step into different shoes.
Some relationships teach us how to hear ourselves, connect with our own wants and needs. To share our authentic feelings honestly, speak what’s really going on in our inner world, even as our hearts pound and we worry how we’ll be received.
Some relationships teach us how to be loved, how to let love in. How to allow ourselves to be supported. To ask for help and not see that as a weakness. To be looked after. To be cared for. To receive loving attention. To be held in another’s compassionate gaze. To let that compassion in. To know that we are so deserving of that.
Some connections teach us how to give support, to pay attention to another person’s feelings and needs, to look after another. To take the lead and step in and step out of our own stuff. To give our time and attention, our emotional and physical strength. To offer the gift of our willing sacrifice. To discover our limits in the giving too. To give from a place of self-nourishment, not guilt.
Some relationships teach us the necessity of speaking up for ourselves. They force us to get honest about what’s not okay for us, what hurts, what feels wrong, what feels like ‘too much’ or ‘too little’. To become aware of when our boundaries have been crossed. To express our righteous anger, the part of us that feels unseen, unheard, not respected, abused. To respect ourselves enough to say “No”. [...]