15 years ago today my mum, Nancy Southern, lost her battle with breast cancer. 2 days ago I learned I am facing that battle too. I've been holding my breath for a very long time. Both my mum and her mum fought this fight. Having it land on my doorstep felt inevitable. And now I can exhale.
Next week I meet my surgeon to go over the game plan. Soon after that, surgery, and perhaps chemo and radiation therapy. My mum gave me a gift when she was diagnosed. She let me walk beside her every step of the way. That means there will be very few surprises. I know how ugly this is going to be, and that there are days when I won't be gracious, or positive, or strong.
Today is not one of those days. Today I am asking myself this question: ▶ How can I use this journey in the service of others?
I am now part of a vast tribe that stretches back across both sisters and brothers who have done this dance, and that stretches ahead to many more who don't yet know that they will too.
I can start by reaching down into the very deep ache I am feeling myself: that I feel alone in a way I never have before because I'm about to face things I've never felt before, and that scares the hell out of me. I wish my mum was still here to ask. What did this actually feel like? How did you still yourself enough to navigate when it felt like you had just been shot out into space with a rocket strapped to your back?
I'm going to try to be the person that I need right now, but for other people. I'm going to be transparent. I'm going to invite people to ask me any damned question they want as I go through this, and I'll try to be as honest as I can, because one thing I know for certain is that there is NO good served in being delicate about this and pretending it's not okay to talk about cancer.
My mum wore gold socks with jingle bells on them to chemotherapy, and she lit up the cancer centre with laughter and mirth. I'm going to take a page out of her book in every way that I possibly can on this trek.
I have #cancer . 🎗️ It doesn't have me.
And I am my mother's daughter.
GOAL: #CancerSurvivor#Advocacy 🙏 🙌 🖖 💪
How about this one for a throw back ... Back when i look like a 15 year old boy .. Ill be honest i took this picture when i was in a deep depression no one knew i was even depressed just my doctor i was to ashamed to amit that i wasnt as strong as everyone thought and i didnt want to let anyone see me weak ..... It wasnt to i finally open up to my breast cancer group that what i was feeling was more common then i thought but it's also something most didnt talk about ... So i open up and share this info for anyone going threw a depression you are not alone and im here for you dm. ..... I share my story not for any sympathy but to bring awareness and inspiration to women across the world #sisterhood#depression#breastcancer#chemo#sideeffects#survivor#dodgers#outdoors#freshair
Presentation is everything! As I was preparing to serve my nephew Jayden his after school chocolate & nutella @buttercreamcupcakes on one one of my Rosenthal China plates 🍽alongside a shot of ice cold milk 🥛he says “La La use the plastic cups. You don’t have to make everything special.” Tickled, I smiled at him as I continued pouring his milk into what he calls the “good glasses,” my @fferronedesign revolution glasses and said “yes I do.!” If you know me well or have ever been catered to by me you know I live by one of my mantras: #presentationiseverything ERRYTHANG! Right DV? @diannvalentine 😘
Radiation #21 . The time I go for radiation I’m stuck with a bunch of very old women who are also in there for radiation. We are in a small dressing room and wait there to be called. There’s a new lady I’ve made friends with who is from Russia. Neither she or I have spoken to the other new ladies. Today’s conversation the other ladies were having was about how they were going to die. Like, what was going to take them out. Face. Palm. One of the ladies was called for her rads so it was just me, the Russian lady, and and the new lady left. The new one tried to talk to us to continue the conversation so I just sat there and acted like I didn’t speak English either. I can’t even. #utsw#cancer#survivor#cancersurvivor#breastcancer#fightlikeagirl
My wife is my rock. She’s the strongest, most determined person I’ve ever met. Today we had her first appointment with the medical oncologist: Michele will need 5 months of chemo, which starts next week. Not exactly what we expected to hear today; to kick things off we got her a spunky short hair cut and now having a drink at CBC. She is beautiful and I know she’ll come out of this stronger than ever ❤️❤️. #fuckcancer#breastcancer#myrock#mywife#lgbt#columbusohio#asseenincolumbus#columbusbrewingcompany
When I was 9 I lost my best friend because of cancer. He was the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life and during next 10 years I was feeling guilty for every day I was living there were no way that I deserved live more than him. At the age of 20 I finally started to live without that feeling. And here I am 30 and my worst enemy is back... my cousin, my best friend, my sister, my blood, my family, my inspiration has a breast cancer and I am kind of terrified acting like she got nothing. She is a very strong, beautiful, amazing person but I can't find the way how I should support her correctly... my mind sometimes refuses to accept that it is a cancer. Please if anyone experienced this give me an advice what kind of support did you or someone you know needed ? #breastcancer#breastcancersurvivor#breastcanacerawareness#cancersucks#cancer#concerdusein